It’s Saturday night. You spent all day getting your hair, nails, and outfit together to enjoy a night on the town. You look good, smell good and feel good. You’re on a mission to find that strong, hard-working, loyal, assertive Black Adonis that a woman of your caliber deserves. After all, your nails would look better when accented with a sparkling diamond ring. You do your part by transforming into an Ebony Fashion Fair runway model. You go to work quickly, scout the talent and strategically place yourself within eye contact.
There he is…your future husband: Blue pinstripe suit, polished Donald Pliner loafers, muscular frame, beautiful smile, initialed cufflinks, and largest hands you’ve ever seen holding a snifter of Crown Royal and the keys to your heart. You start the dance by making soft eye contact, slightly parting your thick, full lips, and arching your back and positioning every part of your body in his direction.
He dances back, smiling with direct eye contact as he boldly surveys you from head to toe…from the manicured nails framed in your favorite pair of Jimmy Choo’s up to your neck line that showcases the purposely alluring earrings, necklace, and Fendi Spybag that accent…well… your softer features. He takes a purposeful sip of cognac and smoothly slides his keys into his pants to playfully hide his carnal attraction for you.
The electricity and chemistry between you makes you shift your balance to your toes and loosen your stance…then IT happens…
Some dummy with no style asks for your number. “Not again”, you think. You spent all your energy on MR. RIGHT just to be approached by an undesirable shadow of the man you really want and deserve. Before you know it some other opportunistic man-snatcher is laughing at your MR. RIGHT’s jokes and playfully touching his biceps as they enjoy each other’s company. “Great, another wasted outfit,” you think. Ultimately, you go home feeling more disappointed than when you arrived because you tasted chemistry, adventure, and potential marriage but couldn’t seal the deal because the WRONG GUY ruined it for you again!
Why allow this to happen to you ever again? It doesn’t have to if you are willing to infuse some modern day rule changes for dating. I’ll forewarn you, the dating advice I am about to suggest is controversial and unconventional but it gets results every time.
Ladies, I propose the END OF WAITING FOR MR. RIGHT to approach you. Instead, take a position that affords you full CONTROL and eliminates the distractions and unwelcome suitors that are sure to spoil your pursuit of happiness and chocolate fulfillment. Put that diva/model strut to work and do what a Black woman is supposed to do. With all the elegance, beauty, and supreme attraction power of Queen Cleopatra and Nefertiti themselves, introduce yourself as HIS date for the next few minutes. Flash that millionaire smile, and use your femininity to charm his socks off.
Trust me, he’ll be pursuing you one minute into the conversation. If you play your cards right, you’ll convey a message of, “A queen is interested in you, so pursue accordingly.” Remember, no negative thoughts, opting instead for only projecting confidence and Diva-licious attitude that brings all men to their collective knees.
Personally, I wish a God-fearing, beautiful, mocha-colored sister with nice full lips, curvaceous hips, soft hands, and an unquenched desire to love, support, and spoil a Do-Right-Man would approach me. I can promise you this…I am certainly not alone in this request. Contrary to popular belief, men love for women to approach. The key is to do it with tact and without looking desperate. A supremely confident woman who knows both who she is and what she has is all any brother needs to pursue.
So, my chocolate queens, go claim your prize! Next weekend, you’ll be telling your girlfriends that you’re staying in again because Mr. Pinstripe will be serving up enough stimulating conversation, humor, and spine-tingling [you-fill-in-the-blank] to keep you in for the evening…or maybe even the rest of your life! Can you say, “Get Your Ring Finger Ready!”
Dr. Alduan Tartt is a psychologist, motivational speaker and author of THE RING FORMULA: How to Marry MR. RIGHT.
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Tags: Black woman, dating, Dating Advice, future husband, How to marry, husband, MR RIGHT, The Ring Formula
April 9, 2009 at 10:02 am |
I think that it is a very interesting and amusing article. Practically all its main points are true.